Self-Efficacy: The Key to Building Confidence in Children as Young as Two Years Old.

I stood at the door with my toddler in one arm and an obnoxiously large diaper bag hanging from the other. It was crammed with everything my sweet little girl might need on her first day at daycare. I had researched many options before I found Melissa, a lovely woman who ran a small daycare in her home, comprised of only three other girls that were the same age as my daughter, Melody.

Melissa answered the door and ushered us inside, where the other kids were relishing in heaps of books. Knowing that my daughter loves books more than candy, I put her down and encouraged her to go read with her “new friends”.

As I filled out the sign-in sheet, Melody clung to my leg and assessed the girls who watched her with excited faces. I found it odd that my rambunctious, gabby, sassy baby who approached kids at the park and waived and babbled to strangers in the store, was now bashful and withdrawn. I introduced her to the pack, sat her down beside the nicest looking child with the face of a China Doll, and got her started with a book about shapes. She watched me leave with a blank stare and despite the number of “Bye bye's” and “I love you's” that I gushed, she didn't offer a single word. You would think I had just checked her into a rehabilitation center.

I couldn't focus on my work for the rest of the day. Melody's reaction had concerned me and I began to realize that even toddlers had their own level of self-esteem. I had never contemplated the idea. I just sort of assumed that kids thought as purely as angels do, without judgment or doubt, before the trends and customs of society caught up with them. How could I raise my daughter to be a confident and secure young woman? Is it even possible to begin building confidence in children as young as two years old? I thought of my parenting methods thus far. Was I building Melody's self-esteem effectively?

 

I pulled up my search engine, and the research began!

The fact of the matter is, even outstanding parents have the potential to unknowingly wear down or stifle a child's confidence. Perhaps their expectations are too high, their methods of discipline or encouragement are having the opposite affect, or they're failing to adjust their methods to the appropriate age. The key to raising a confident and successful young man or woman lies within our understanding of self-efficacy.

What is Self-Efficacy?
If you're unfamiliar with the term, self-efficacy is first formed in early childhood and it is our belief in our own abilities to accomplish new and challenging tasks. The concept was first recognized by psychologist Albert Bandura in 1994 and has become one of the most studied topics in psychology today. Bandura describes self-efficacy as “the belief in one's capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.” He and other researchers have demonstrated that self-efficacy impacts everything from psychological states to behavior to motivation. Not only does this vital piece of the self-system play a crucial role in how a child feels about themselves, but it can even determine whether or not they lead a successful life.

Studies show that those with low self-efficacy tend to avoid progression through challenging tasks, dwell on personal failures and negative outcomes, and lose confidence in themselves and their abilities at a young age. Those with high self-efficacy find satisfaction in facing new challenges, extend themselves physically and mentally, become deeply involved and committed in activities and hobbies, and recover easily from setbacks and disappointments.

Self-efficacy is the background for one's every decision throughout their entire life. Self-image, relationships, careers, and social interactions are all heavily impacted by an individuals level of self-efficacy and it is our duty as parents to build a firm foundation of confidence in our children.

 

What Factors Impact Self-Efficacy?

There are four major sources for building or impairing self-efficacy.

1. Mastery Experiences.

Albert Bandura explained that the most effective way of developing a strong sense of efficacy is through mastery experiences. When your child completes a task successfully, it strengthens their sense of self-efficacy. However, failing to accomplish a task or challenge has the potential to result in the opposite effect.

2. Social Modeling.

Having a good role model to look up to will improve your child's self-efficacy. When they witness others successfully accomplish their goals, they feel more capable themselves! Bandura believed that seeing people similar to oneself succeed will raise observer's beliefs that they too possess the capabilities necessary to succeed in comparable activities.

3. Social Persuasion.

Say hello to peer pressure. Children can be persuaded to believe that they have the skills and capabilities to succeed. Receiving verbal encouragement helps an individual overcome self-doubt and focus on giving their best effort to the task at hand.

4. Psychological Responses.

One's emotional response to specific situations plays an important role in self-efficacy. Moods, emotional states, physical reactions, and stress levels all have an impact on how one feels about themselves when faced with various obstacles.

What Can YOU Do?

Building confidence in children can be tricky, especially when our little ones are still so little, but it is as important as teaching them to walk. Take into account the four major influences listed above and try to incorporate each of them into your parenting methods to raise a strong-willed, confident little person with unwavering self-esteem!

First and foremost, help your children find the triumph that comes with accomplishment through mastery experiences. If your darling is just a toddler, you can do this by facing them with challenging, yet realistic tasks like stacking blocks, putting the shape in its correct hole, putting their toys away, even turning the page of a book. Any opportunity you can give them to grow!
If your child is a bit older, design a weekly goal sheet or a daily to-do list for them. If you're a list lover like myself, then you're familiar with the dash of pride that comes with scratching your pen through that empty check box. That's the feeling of your self-efficacy rising! Provide the same satisfaction for your kids with goals such as making their bed, cleaning their room, doing a chore, completing their homework, reading a book, making something, learning something new, and whatever else you can think of! At the end of the week or day, sit down with them and go through the list. Let them apply their own check marks and award them with the credit they deserve and help them in the areas they need to improve on with some words of encouragement.
If your child seems overwhelmed or unwilling to face a particular challenge, break it down into simpler steps and let them complete those one by one. The same strategy goes for teens and adults!

The next step to building your kid's self-efficacy is social modeling. Personally, I like to believe this takes the form of practicing what you preach. In addition to making a goal chart or to-do list for your children, make one for yourself and sit down together to check off your accomplishments! Introduce them to positive role models whether they be in the media (good luck) or in the family. They just need to know that the goals they have set for themselves are not impossible.

Social persuasion can also have a fantastic effect on building confidence in your young ones. Were you raised with a great support system? Do you remember your parents telling you that you can do anything you set your mind to? Is there a certain teacher that comes to mind when you think of a time you received praise or constructive criticism? I'm sure you can recall a few negative circumstances as well. All of those moments have contributed to your self-efficacy, just as similar occurrences will contribute to your child's efficacy.

It's important to express the belief you have in your kids. If they want to take on a challenging task, don't shadow their ambition with doubt or realistic contradictions. Let them try, and do what you can to help them succeed. If your daughter can't rip off the sparkly Hello Kitty sticker that she smashed onto the page of a coloring book, let her know it's not the end of the world and explain for what seems like the hundredth time that stickers stick. If your son can't dunk the basketball in a hoop three times his size like the older kids, encourage him to keep practicing, to start out small and work his way up.
I'll admit, this one has been difficult for me as I'm extremely impatient and stubborn. I would rather do things myself, but stepping aside to allow Melody to contribute really brightens her day and she continues to improve each time she engages in that particular activity.

It's important to raise your kids with the habit of positive psychological responses. While so much of an individual's self-efficacy revolves around their accomplishments and failures, the second most major factor is how they handle those failures.

Think of the different people in your life. We all know that walking, talking smiley face who spews positivity even when it's unwanted. When life hands them lemons, they make lemonade. You know, the morning people. 'Cringe'

Then there are those on the other side of the spectrum. Those who wake up dreading what the day has to offer. Life hands them lemons and they feel victimized because life, the lemons, and everyone else is out to get them.

As I mentioned above, those with a strong sense of self-efficacy find satisfaction in facing new challenges, extend themselves physically and mentally, become deeply involved and committed in activities and hobbies, and recover easily from setbacks and disappointments. Those with a weak self-efficacy tend to avoid progression through challenging tasks, dwell on personal failures and negative outcomes, and lose confidence in themselves and their abilities at a young age.

By helping your children recover from setbacks, lower their stress levels, and keep a positive outlook on life, you can ensure their future as a cheery, lemonade making smiley face instead of a negative, doubtful victim.

Which one are you?

In closing, not only is it very possible to begin building confidence and self-esteem in children as young as two years old, but it's the most important age to begin! I hope the concept of self-efficacy has helped you as much as it helped me, and you integrate it into your daily parenting methods.

Happy Parenting!